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Re: [glosalist] Glosa good--English crazy
chris duncan (chris duncan <krisdunncan@...>) on March 8, 2012
What the XXXX has this got to do with glosa ? people here are already know
that english is not the most logical language to choose . Thats why they ar= e here.
On 15 February 2012 20:35, xon tiffany <poseidon7neptune@…=
ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE ……=E2=80=8F
You think = English is easy? Look how these words are used:
1) The bandage was woun= d around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The= dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish = the Polish furniture..
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..
7) Sinc= e there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present th= e present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) W= hen shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the= object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There w= as a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to= the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are= present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
= 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The w= ind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the pa= inting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of = tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let’= s face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor= ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins w= eren’t invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are can= dies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for= granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can wor= k slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea= nor is it a pig..
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t f= ing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is= teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one = moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can = make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and g= et rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taugh= t, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what do= es a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should = be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do pe= ople recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo= by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim cha= nce and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opp= osites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which yo= ur house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by fil= ling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was = invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the = human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the= stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are i= nvisible.
PS. - Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’ ?
You lovers= of the English language might enjoy this ..
There is a two-letter word= that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that = is ‘UP.’
It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the t= op of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? = At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are th= e officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP = a report? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, = polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. = We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times t= he little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP = for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed i= s one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. A drain must be opened UP b= ecause it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close i= t UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledg= eable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. = In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can = add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try bu= ilding UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of = your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or mo= re When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun co= mes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and of= ten messes things UP. When it doesn’t rain for a while, things dry UP.
= One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, s= o…….it is time to shut UP! Now it’s UP to you what you do with this i= nfo.
– C. D .
[Non-text portions of this message have been rem= oved]
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